What is what to do when your mom says hurtful things to you?

When your mom says hurtful things, it can be a really painful and confusing experience. Here's some guidance on how to navigate that:

• Acknowledge your feelings: It's okay to feel hurt, angry, sad, or confused. Don't dismiss your emotions. Recognize them and allow yourself to feel them. It's valid to feel bad when someone you love says something hurtful.

• Take a step back (if possible): If the situation is heated, try to remove yourself temporarily. This can prevent you from saying something you'll regret and give you both space to cool down. Suggest taking a break and returning to the conversation later.

• Consider the source: Ask yourself if your mom is usually this way, or if something might be triggering her behavior. Is she stressed, tired, or dealing with her own issues? This doesn't excuse the hurtful words, but it can provide context. Understanding the possible reasons behind her behavior can sometimes help you process it.

• Communicate (when you're ready): Choose a calm moment to talk to your mom about how her words affected you. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming. For example, instead of saying "You always make me feel bad," try "I feel hurt when you say things like that." Clearly and calmly explain the impact of her words. Learn more about the importance of "Communication%20Strategies".

• Set boundaries: It's important to establish boundaries. Let your mom know what kind of language and behavior you will and will not tolerate. For example, you could say, "I'm not going to continue this conversation if you're going to yell at me" or "I need you to speak to me respectfully." It's crucial to be firm about your "Boundary%20Setting".

• Don't take it personally (easier said than done): Sometimes, people say hurtful things when they are upset, and it might not be a reflection of how they truly feel about you. Remember that her words don't define your worth.

• Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what's happening. Sometimes just venting can help you process your emotions. A therapist can provide strategies for coping and "Emotional%20Regulation".

• Forgiveness (in time): Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the behavior, but it can help you release the anger and resentment you might be holding onto. This is a process, and it's okay if it takes time. Explore "Forgiveness%20and%20Healing".

• Consider therapy (individual or family): If the hurtful words are a recurring problem, consider individual therapy for yourself to develop coping mechanisms, or suggest family therapy to improve communication patterns.

• Know when to distance: If the relationship is consistently toxic and your mom is unwilling to change her behavior, it may be necessary to create some distance for your own well-being. Focus on "Self-Care%20Strategies" and preserving your mental health.